I'm on the list
Where do I start, it had been six weeks(as my sister pointed out to me on wednesday when she came to my house while I coloured her hair) since I had been in Newcastle for transplant assessment and I must admit I was starting to get pretty worried that they could not find a suitable mix of antibiotics to blitz the bugs or that my tissue was dodgy or just summit. Well weirdly enough I got a call a couple of hours later to say that was me being listed.
I felt a bit bubbly then happy then actually pretty terrified. But none of those emotions lasted long. I'm not really feeling too much about the transplant. I do talk a lot about how different things will be when I am actually able to breathe easier.
It rather obvious at the moment as I am on IV's due to my lungs being in a rather shitty state when I went to clinic last friday.
So at the moment I'm feeling a tx would be splendid. I'm sure on my good days though I will be hoping its some time before I hear from them.
It does offer so many opportunities and everyone is very happy about it. The only person who reacted like I did was Mark he replied to my text with Oh god its real then, and I love that he did that. Because I was starting to feel bad that I felt that being placed on the list wasn't the most amazing thing ever.
It's scary, it's unknowing, its a dice throw but hopefully a good throw. A double six!!??
So anyway I'm having a party to celebrate. Laser quest on the 18th April with some friends and some laser guns and some outfits ;)
Then its the CF fundraiser on may 8th! I need to arrange my outfit, and I dont have a clue what to be.
On another note, I'm being placed onto overnight oxygen, I need to go into hospital this week so they can check 2litre flow wont give me too much Co2. But as I type this i'm sitting with my oxy in cos today was a rough day.
It's amazing the things that change as you get iller, or as this illness takes its toll more. Or maybe it's just that I'm older. I would never have done my ineb in public when I was younger- now I dont care, I would never have went out without covering up my iv line with a long sleeved top- now I dont care. I would have shuddered at the thought of oxygen but you realise that these things are small in comparison to having a life and feeling well enough to enjoy it.
I have had a few feeling sorry for myself moments, tonight I was as I treid to carry my washing downstairs, I had to stand in my living room and shout out loud at myself to get a friggin grip. I know there are so many people worse off than me and that I have a cheek to feel sorry for myself. The difference is I have hope, I have an opportunity.
I'm now sitting talking to my wee nubby Nicola on inet. I havent seen her this week and she has still been having a rough time so we like to chat on inet and moan at each other. as well as having a wee giggle.
DOugie and I are hoping to go down to London on 25th April, which should be great.
Kirsty
I felt a bit bubbly then happy then actually pretty terrified. But none of those emotions lasted long. I'm not really feeling too much about the transplant. I do talk a lot about how different things will be when I am actually able to breathe easier.
It rather obvious at the moment as I am on IV's due to my lungs being in a rather shitty state when I went to clinic last friday.
So at the moment I'm feeling a tx would be splendid. I'm sure on my good days though I will be hoping its some time before I hear from them.
It does offer so many opportunities and everyone is very happy about it. The only person who reacted like I did was Mark he replied to my text with Oh god its real then, and I love that he did that. Because I was starting to feel bad that I felt that being placed on the list wasn't the most amazing thing ever.
It's scary, it's unknowing, its a dice throw but hopefully a good throw. A double six!!??
So anyway I'm having a party to celebrate. Laser quest on the 18th April with some friends and some laser guns and some outfits ;)
Then its the CF fundraiser on may 8th! I need to arrange my outfit, and I dont have a clue what to be.
On another note, I'm being placed onto overnight oxygen, I need to go into hospital this week so they can check 2litre flow wont give me too much Co2. But as I type this i'm sitting with my oxy in cos today was a rough day.
It's amazing the things that change as you get iller, or as this illness takes its toll more. Or maybe it's just that I'm older. I would never have done my ineb in public when I was younger- now I dont care, I would never have went out without covering up my iv line with a long sleeved top- now I dont care. I would have shuddered at the thought of oxygen but you realise that these things are small in comparison to having a life and feeling well enough to enjoy it.
I have had a few feeling sorry for myself moments, tonight I was as I treid to carry my washing downstairs, I had to stand in my living room and shout out loud at myself to get a friggin grip. I know there are so many people worse off than me and that I have a cheek to feel sorry for myself. The difference is I have hope, I have an opportunity.
I'm now sitting talking to my wee nubby Nicola on inet. I havent seen her this week and she has still been having a rough time so we like to chat on inet and moan at each other. as well as having a wee giggle.
DOugie and I are hoping to go down to London on 25th April, which should be great.
Kirsty
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