Come play my game

I cant help but feel I'm dismissing my girls for SH, I'm going trough a bit of a weird one right now where I feel like I wanna spend as much time with SH as possible. I woud hope my girls know how much I love them and appreciate all they do for me. I just sometimes wish I had met SH earlier, but things wouldn't have been the way they are now. I know I will praise him a lot in these blogs but he is so truly amazing. Yesterday I went out with him to his friends cals birthday surprise night. It was in a curry house in glasgow, and it was amazing. After we went to Nice and sleazys where I spent a it of time talking to the lovly gemma(cals girlfriend), she has known SH from school. She said how happy he seems now, I would hope its a little do with me cos he makes me so incredibly happy. But I chose to go out with doug over going out with my girles, they haven't even been told yet that I'm going for transplant assessment. It's just I feel the more people I tell the tr

Its been a wee while, with all my best intentions somtimes it's hard to know where to start on this diary. But here goes and sorry if its a long one. I'm currently undergoing pre pre assessment for a transplant. So that means going to hspital(trying to find a friggin space in the car park) and getting CT scans, xrays, bloods, one density, ultra sounds and next week lung function. Every wee appointment just makes me more aware of the doors that may be opening or possibly shutting on me. The prospect of having no holiday for a while is horrible, especially with the hope that SH and I were going to go away. He has booked up for a 5week holiday in america his good friend from home is going for 13months and he is going to join him and another two great guys who I met this weekend on a trip to aberdeen. It was their leaving party and they are all brilliant dudes so I know he will have an amazing time. I hate using the word 'deserves' because I dont actually believe anyone

The past week has been great, I'm starting to get letters in for all my scans and ultrasounds and cardio things so that most of my tests are done pre first consultation with the docs I think. last week SH was away climbing on some very remote island in north Scotland. I tought my week would be pretty tough without him but it was fine, mum helped me a lot by taking me out and me and the girls went to see one of fellow gents in a play which was accompanied with a gorgeous dinner, so gorgeous I managed to eat all of mine and most of everyone sitting close to me's food. It has been pretty muggy in scotland lately and on the monday I kinda freaked out a little, I'm trying so hard not to be superstitious cos if it's gonna happen no amount of superstition will prevent the inevitable. But it so happens that every time SH has a holiday I seem to get critically crap health wise. So on Monday I was really struggling to sleep, trying to catch my breath, using my newly added fan- di