Day 11 post tx and on . . . .

Day 11: Sunday

The farts never led to anything, instead they led to another two enemas and I’m still in need of a poo. Docs will be round tomoz but being on a liquid diet means I’m not getting too bloated. I need to stop obsessing but its mighty hard not to. I’m self medicating now and going over my teaching notes so it’s only a matter of time before I would be able to go to the flats if I do a poo. But they’ll do summit if I don’t I’m sure they will. Lots of stinking poo in me that going to reek when it finally gets loose. Blooming cf poo’s!

On another note Julie is back, minus dad. She’s brilliant. She leaves next Friday so it’ll be nice to have her around with me for the next five days. Dougie was here today and we watched the wire whilst I sat again head down with an enema in. Then we went for a walk and also did some exercise on the bike, it was sad to say goodbye and I cried a good bit saying bye to him but I know that this op has given us hopeful years together.

He got a flat tire on his way back and the weather was supposedly miserable. He had to change it on the motorway.

Not too much else happened today, I am hoping the physio may take me to the gym tomoz if I ask nicely or even in the next couple of days. I have so much time on my hands so I obsess. It strange being in the hospital and feeling so fantastic.

Well let’s hope it stays this way. I’m one very lucky girl I realise that, even when I do moan about needing to poo. X

Day 13: Tuesday

I didn’t type yesterday as I haven’t been in a good place, negative thoughts overtaking my mind and not helping at all, turns out I started my period tonight so every single negative thought I’ve been having has been getting made 100 times bigger. So today Julie and I went for a walk outside around the park, I have been totally disconnected and thinking I have been going mad, so I thought a walk about would be great and it did help a lot then the negative thoughts crept back in and again I pissed off Julie, she is the best to have here for this. I give her all my negative thoughts and she tells me its piss. Total piss. I can’t do this journey with a negative mind, I have to be positive, the way I have always been.

Poo will come the doctors are sure, it’ll just take time for my bowel to kick in properly again but right now I’m passing runny poo’.

Nice bit of details for you there. Later on after my soup dinner, we went for another walk and we went to see where Julie has been staying for the past two weeks. I climbed up the two flights about 30 steps without losing any breath at all.

So hopefully I’ll get some sleep tonight.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day Two post op

Image
On day two post op Friday I got myself up out a chair and went to move my drains and then had myself a little panic attack. I think the drains reminded me of my lung collapse and I felt like the air was vanishing from me. The nurse walked in and sat with me whilst I apologised and started to breathe better again. The physio came in and got me up on my feet marching on the spot, nice and slow and then lifting my leg a bit further then I had another wee panic attack. The physio said I’ve been through a lot and how well I was doing but I’m just so aware that I have such an amazing opportunity with these lungs that I don’t want to ruin in any way. Day three Saturday My two lower chest drains were removed today, nice to not have any drains, now it’s just two to go. Dougie arrived down on Saturday. I had said there was no use as he wouldn’t be able to get in but he wanted to just come down and wave from the window. He also brought me down my phone and some stuff from the house. Dad had gone
Read more

When life gives you lemons

I'm not someone who dwels in self pity, I always am very aware that I am very fortunate for my position , where many have nit been so fortunate But lately life has been dealing me a shit loads of lemons, like huge sour fuckers one after the other , and I'm feeling pathetic as fuck with it. I was admitted to hospital on Saturday because my kidney function was off and my creatine levels were a bit high at 250. I was phoned on Friday but I had a wedding in inverurie on Saturday and they said it could wait. I was put on iv fluids, to help hydrate them. Turns out it didn't help too much so I was discharged on the wednesday. UNFORTUNATELY BY the Thursday evening my stomach was so bloated that I was unable to breathe right and we made the call with help from my sister to go to the hospital. My amazing team on 7d knew that it just wasn't like me to be in this amount of pain and after xray, ct and a dose of morphine we got a huge ng tube down and the air rushed up.
Read more

Survivors guilt

Image
Survivor guilt  is a particular type of  guilt  that may develop in people who have survived a life-threatening situation.  I've never experienced survivors guilt before but I have heard the term many times when talking about transplant. But for me it's never been an issue.  I have always had an all encompassing gratitude to my donor and their family  but I also know I could not control my donors death and they saved me but I feel joy and thanks at that gift . But lately I've started to feel guilt. Maybe because there have been a lot of near death experiences this year and with this whole liver thing I'm becoming superstitious again, feel like I'm tempting fate and a little ocd. I know in my head that the way I act or what I do won't have any impact on what happens but sometimes I can't stop my head from thinking thoughts.  I'm having to wear wigs now as my hair is still falling out, my big sis looked at me the other night and told me my 200 pound
Read more