Survivors guilt
Survivor guilt is a particular type of guilt that may develop in people who have survived a life-threatening situation.
I've never experienced survivors guilt before but I have heard the term many times when talking about transplant. But for me it's never been an issue. I have always had an all encompassing gratitude to my donor and their family but I also know I could not control my donors death and they saved me but I feel joy and thanks at that gift .
But lately I've started to feel guilt. Maybe because there have been a lot of near death experiences this year and with this whole liver thing I'm becoming superstitious again, feel like I'm tempting fate and a little ocd. I know in my head that the way I act or what I do won't have any impact on what happens but sometimes I can't stop my head from thinking thoughts.
I'm having to wear wigs now as my hair is still falling out, my big sis looked at me the other night and told me my 200 pound wig looked like an bus number so I had to get my scissors to it.
I've also been able to wear trousers for the first time in around 5months because my fluid has went down. unfortunately I have to half my fluid tablets as my kidneys are not loving them at the moment so I expect my stomach to get bigger again.
I've never experienced survivors guilt before but I have heard the term many times when talking about transplant. But for me it's never been an issue. I have always had an all encompassing gratitude to my donor and their family but I also know I could not control my donors death and they saved me but I feel joy and thanks at that gift .
But lately I've started to feel guilt. Maybe because there have been a lot of near death experiences this year and with this whole liver thing I'm becoming superstitious again, feel like I'm tempting fate and a little ocd. I know in my head that the way I act or what I do won't have any impact on what happens but sometimes I can't stop my head from thinking thoughts.
I'm having to wear wigs now as my hair is still falling out, my big sis looked at me the other night and told me my 200 pound wig looked like an bus number so I had to get my scissors to it.
I've also been able to wear trousers for the first time in around 5months because my fluid has went down. unfortunately I have to half my fluid tablets as my kidneys are not loving them at the moment so I expect my stomach to get bigger again.
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