Sepsis September can get to f***

So just to add to the extra  dramas,  on Saturday my doctor arrived to inform me of some news.

But first on Friday I spiked a temperature- over 39 degrees so we started antibiotics and they removed my pic and midline as it was likely that one of these were maybe to blame , and we were hoping woukd be discharged at the beginning of next week.

Here I thought everything was ok I got cover for my wedding on Friday as I felt  terrible and it was getting to close for my doctors to make a decision. I mainly rested on friday and my temperature came down and by evening I was feeling good enough to eat with a visit from my mum and dad.

I wake on Saturday ready to face the world, feeling ok, no chills like Friday morning but when my obs were taken  my temperature again with high and the consultant  arrived to inform me that I had sepsis.

Sepsis!

I'm not sure who was more surprised by this news!?

What the actual f*** , I had thought I was ok and eh I have fucking sepsis!!

 I just burst into tears, my doctor informing me that this was very serious and if I were to leave to conduct this wedding there was a high chance I wasn't going to be ok, if I started to feel Ill at all I would have to head back straight away.

I've never ever went against my doctor's advice however I asked if he could start treatment and  I  would go out to conduct the  wedding and return for more treatment.

I basically broke down , anytime you hear of sepsis you hear a terrible outcome and I wasn't sure my body could cope with yet another drama, the fact that I now have infection coursing through my blood was terrifying.

I went to Edinburgh conducted the wedding and returned and spent the rest of the day an absolute mess. I should say Dougie was with me when I returned to the hospital.

I truly always believed that when the time came and I was looking at my own mortality I would be ok I've had almost 8 years extra time since transplant,  I should be incredibly grateful but this showed me I just wanted longer.

I had no idea what to expect as I conducted the wedding I was busy and I had no time to think about things but. . . on my way home every single twinge or pain I was thinking is this is taking effect?

My rose tinted glasses were not on, I couldn't find them and I was a walking or sitting ball of anxiety , my fear was through the roof.

I arrived back at the hospital with DOUGIE. Treatment was continued and I waited for this sepsis to take control of my body, after everything I had gone through this was going to be it.
I even started to put all my weddings into order for when they would have to contact everyone. I just didn't believe I was leaving this hospital.

The next day being Sunday I got some.wonderful cover again for my wedding, thankfully the organisation is fantastic for this. 

My doctor came in and I asked questions and he believed that if it were going to hit me hard it woukd have already, we had caught it early and hopefully with the microbiology we would pin point the antibiotics to use and get over this.

RELIEF!

I was later  joined by my sister Tracey, then mum and Julie and Dougs and my friend sara.

It was then Sara and I as we watches some Jimmy Carr on tv, or as I napped and Sara watched the tv. 

she's uses to this now, it's a running joke that I'll have a nice nap in her company. She left at 8pm, I got under.my duvet and I then slept until 10am on monday, so really I slept for 15 hours. and boy did I need it.

So I'm on iv antibiotics, I'm over the worst of sepsis and I'm back on the hour st to recovery.

No.more dramas please but as I said to dougie today

"I don't think my body can cope with any more dramas" 

his response being 

" yes it can, if we go back tonight and they are like we need to chop your leg off , you'll get on with it, cause that's what you do"

Have I mentioned he is my complete rock, keeping me smiling and laughing on the crappest days.

Sepsis September can get to fuck.