24th August 2017
Today is Thursday 24th August, my legs are still weepy but the fluid is definetly shifting.
I am by all means exceptionally skinny, but I'm very grateful to my head and my rose tinted glasses because most often I'm not aware of how skinny I am .
I conducted a baby naming on Saturday there and dougie and I had to go and buy an outfit for me to wear as my stomach was very distended.
As I stood in the fitting rooms with my husband beside me it was like the fig cleared in front of me , I could see my arms were skinny , I could see my stomach was distended and huge - to the point I couldn't bend thus dougie helping me change but then it became very clear. the extent of how skinny I was washed over me and a look of horror came over my face.
I am scarily thin, I hadn't seen this, my head hadn't allowed me to see this WTF!?
Everything slotted into place, why everyone was so worried, why everyone loomed at me like I was the walking dead, why people believed this was so dire. Also explains why I couldn't lift myself, move myself, the lack of strength in me. I couldn't explain it before but now I could see why.
I spent the next hour or so confused at how my mind could trick me and grateful that my mind could trick me.
After a while I couldn't see it again, my arms began to look normal again to me and since it's almost like when I look at my body it's like looking at one of those magic pictures where you estare so hard to see the picture inside the picture. Sometimes i lool down at me and i see how grossly skinny i am and i get freaked out and then it dissapears again.
Crazy eh!?
I've decided I'm going to show you all the extent of how skinny I am. Because this is a journey and I want to share it with you.
Good news today being that the novo virus and sapporo virusI've harboured in my body for almost a year is no longer there , my body now has some fight and has fought them off. When it first came back that I had the novo virus the doctor came in and said we have to retest you because I've had the novo virus and everyone who gets it is incredibly ill, we believe it's maybe a mis reading because your not so symptomatic.
She left the room and I thought to myself . . . . . .hen you have no idea I'm kirsty harvey I've dealt with much more than a virus you have no idea the extent to which I can fight. so yes I may be sitting here with rollers in my hair and makeup on but yes I also believe I have the novo virus but I'm tough as nails.
and there we are not only did I have the virus I had it for 8 months !!
There's been a lot of things said to me through this journey so fat
You're so happy
How are you coping?
Youre so brave
We can't believe how well your dealing with this
Kirsty youre very ill
Others would have given up
say whaaaaaaaaaaa
My usual responses are
What's the use in being bitter about the past, or worrying about tests results , i cant change anything ill deal with it
and
I've had 33 years of placing coping mechanisms, I've got this , I have no option.
and lastly
Never through this did I ever consider 'giving up'. For starters I'm not religious, I'm not going anywhere after this but most importantly it's never once dawned on me that this was an option. it never has been and it never is. When that day comes that my body has had enough then game is over, my fight won't have finished but my body will be done and that's what happens. I won't have given up but my body will shut down and that's life and death.
Tonight I'm off to see eminem, I promise Dr macgregor I will put my legs up as I'm in disabled and carer so we have seats.
Some pics of life here
I am by all means exceptionally skinny, but I'm very grateful to my head and my rose tinted glasses because most often I'm not aware of how skinny I am .
I conducted a baby naming on Saturday there and dougie and I had to go and buy an outfit for me to wear as my stomach was very distended.
As I stood in the fitting rooms with my husband beside me it was like the fig cleared in front of me , I could see my arms were skinny , I could see my stomach was distended and huge - to the point I couldn't bend thus dougie helping me change but then it became very clear. the extent of how skinny I was washed over me and a look of horror came over my face.
I am scarily thin, I hadn't seen this, my head hadn't allowed me to see this WTF!?
Everything slotted into place, why everyone was so worried, why everyone loomed at me like I was the walking dead, why people believed this was so dire. Also explains why I couldn't lift myself, move myself, the lack of strength in me. I couldn't explain it before but now I could see why.
I spent the next hour or so confused at how my mind could trick me and grateful that my mind could trick me.
After a while I couldn't see it again, my arms began to look normal again to me and since it's almost like when I look at my body it's like looking at one of those magic pictures where you estare so hard to see the picture inside the picture. Sometimes i lool down at me and i see how grossly skinny i am and i get freaked out and then it dissapears again.
Crazy eh!?
I've decided I'm going to show you all the extent of how skinny I am. Because this is a journey and I want to share it with you.
Good news today being that the novo virus and sapporo virusI've harboured in my body for almost a year is no longer there , my body now has some fight and has fought them off. When it first came back that I had the novo virus the doctor came in and said we have to retest you because I've had the novo virus and everyone who gets it is incredibly ill, we believe it's maybe a mis reading because your not so symptomatic.
She left the room and I thought to myself . . . . . .hen you have no idea I'm kirsty harvey I've dealt with much more than a virus you have no idea the extent to which I can fight. so yes I may be sitting here with rollers in my hair and makeup on but yes I also believe I have the novo virus but I'm tough as nails.
and there we are not only did I have the virus I had it for 8 months !!
There's been a lot of things said to me through this journey so fat
You're so happy
How are you coping?
Youre so brave
We can't believe how well your dealing with this
Kirsty youre very ill
Others would have given up
say whaaaaaaaaaaa
My usual responses are
What's the use in being bitter about the past, or worrying about tests results , i cant change anything ill deal with it
and
I've had 33 years of placing coping mechanisms, I've got this , I have no option.
and lastly
Never through this did I ever consider 'giving up'. For starters I'm not religious, I'm not going anywhere after this but most importantly it's never once dawned on me that this was an option. it never has been and it never is. When that day comes that my body has had enough then game is over, my fight won't have finished but my body will be done and that's what happens. I won't have given up but my body will shut down and that's life and death.
Tonight I'm off to see eminem, I promise Dr macgregor I will put my legs up as I'm in disabled and carer so we have seats.
Some pics of life here
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