flooded lungs

It's taken me a few days to be able to digest my feelings about what happened at the weekend.
So here goes, I had a wedding to do on Saturday which I managed and felt great
 feedback was wonderful again and I headed back to the hospital.

I was due to go to see Celine with my gorgeous friend Ryan but after my husband talking a lot of sense I sold the ticket to a wonderful woman who had a ball with Ryan.

The liver doctor came to see me on account I was carrying a lot of fluid, so he changed up my plan and decided to give me albiunun on Friday night which meant my body was filled with a further 1000mls through the night and this was being carried on the next day.

Anyway that's not the important part, this next part is.

I took half a sleeping tablet and lay propped up in bed. I woke at 2am and for some reason my head was telling me it was ok that I couldn't breathe .

best idea was to move to my seat and I'd  be able to breathe ok.

I sat in that chair for half and hour battling with my breathing and my head . My head telling me this was ok when my breathing was getting worse and worse.

It was comparable to when my ling collapsed  I was literally drowning in my lungs I could feel the water bubbling up I just couldn't fathom if it would keep rising and I wouldn't be able to breathe any air all of a sudden .

I realised I couldn't reach my buzzer so I began to try and call for help and thankfully I was heard.

It took a while for the nurse to get an oxygen cylinder, and being 33 the only words I was able to say was

I want my mum

They got a saturation machine out and the moment I seen those numbers I panicked ~
saturation levels monitor your oxygen in your blood. my beautiful gifted lungs usually sit at 100% - yes they are that amazing .
As I looked at the numbers 73 flashed up and my world collapsed around me.
no no no no this was not meant to happen.

I always figured my end days would not be me struggling against my breathe. I didn't think my lungs would be my demise and here I was looking at saturation levels plummeting faster than  a toupee in a hurricane.
I was fucked

#cysticfibrosis #transplant

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