Day 18 post op

I haven't typed in some time. Weeks actually and so much has happened but to be honest the shock I think, took over, followed by sleep deprivation, followed by a hint of paranoia and a lot of adgitation whilst smiling.

Whilst thinking through the floodlunggate of the other Saturday it dawned on me that I could have died, this could have been a blood clot and lastly I dug my head into the mud and didn't look up.

I was so obsessed with the fact I had been able to breathe through it I hadn't thought, what if the fluid never stopped and I drowned.

I spent the next five nights trying to sleep on a big  back chair, comfortable as it may be it isn't any bed but I lied to myself saying it was best to sleep there because my feet were still losing more water than Niagara falls .

This led to me  falling,  where I awoke having slipped in between the two chairs and thankfully two auxiliarys came to my rescue to help pick me up. As usual I found this hilarious.

I had my first nightmare where I awoke suddenly wailed like a animal before promptly falling back to sleep. The nurses the next day said they ehard me but hadn't realised it was me she to me going straight back to sleep.

The next day my friend Susie came to visit with her daughter Sophie but with this. . . . . Susie had made me the most beautiful dream catcher. Weird eh.

I've only had one other bad dream but finally enough the dream catcher had taken that night.

I've been getting massages from a wonderful lady named Amy, kind, genuine and she makes me feel comfortable,  I met her through someone I know and she has been coming to the hospital to give me head and back massages  Absolute bliss but there was turtle gate.

I often forget my strength. things I once found so easy a fee months ago are no longer so easy , like turning on a bed, yes turning on a bed I have nibstrength for so I got on the bed getting ready to lie on my front for the first time in five weeks and bam - I turtled,  legs and arms in the air and I was unable to.move.

Any let out a little yelp as I burst into laughter again.

I've had my family, my wonderful crazy family surround me, care for me, wash me and my wounds , and take the utter piss out of me. All the while they are calling me some terrible names whilst holding back their worried faces.

These are just a few thoughts for today, I'll be writing more. It's been a hell of a time so far..

below are pictures of my face as I'm cleaning these legs. stingy as hell!